I cannot believe that the day has come and gone. So many great memories, so many things I wish I did and didn’t get the chance to! It was a wonderful day and we got to see so much love and support from all of our family and friends. Nothing else beats that!
Thank you everyone!
A Letter to my Father
The day in which a daughter leaves her home has finally come. In olden times, this would mean becoming a part of another family, and leaving my own behind. In modern times, this means the joining of another family, immediately making our very small family, a big and welcoming one.
Unfortunately, you aren’t going to be here to experience how big our family has gotten. Growing up as a hardworking and independent man, I know you have never been able to feel the love and energy a big family can provide. You would have loved it and you can rest assure that you have left us with the ultimate gift - the love we have for one another that bonds us all together and helps us continue to grow.
You never made it to my 10th birthday and you’ve missed many significant events in my life. You’ve never attended a single one of my graduations, milestones, birthday outings, and now, my wedding… But I know you would have done so if you could. I remember how proud you were of my brother at his Grade 8 graduation… You came out to it even though you were so sick and frail. I remember the big smile on your face and how brightly you were shining and I imagine that you would be just as proud at my own graduation. When I was young, I was angry that you never made it to my grade 8 graduation. I never thought it was fair that you could go to my brothers and not mine, but somehow, through all my teen angst and emotions, I understood that you were never truly gone.
My memories of our house was what kept me attached to you through all these years. I remember every detail of how things were when you were still around. Your favourite spot to sit, the places you put all your belongings… I never wanted to leave because I knew that in your will, you had left it to us and I never wanted anything you left us to disappear.
There were times along the way I would always ask why our family had to go through your loss. I just never understood why you were taken from us when we were all so young, so immature, so naive. Looking back, I have to admit there were also times that I knew you weren’t really gone. As much as I fear the unknown about the afterlife, I knew that deep down, you were always present to guide us, support us, and help us make the right decisions. That hunch, sixth sense, push, or intuition I felt… I knew it was you. You never left us while we were still so young. Despite all that we’ve been through, you left us with a life insurance that took care of our basic needs - all we needed to survive while we couldn’t work and while mom adjusted. You left us with shelter over our heads, a mother to take care of us, and each other to provide a strong loving family that I thought we would never have.
You also left us with the restaurant when you passed away. The restaurant, in it’s prime location, has given us more than I thought possible. With this restuarant, we were able to create a future for ourselves by getting a loan to build up our education, by funding the means to take care of ourselves, and by paying off our expenses. This enormous loan was something I thought we would never be able to pay off. After selling our home, we were able to pay off this magnificent amount and still purchase a small humble home. I never realized that this would ever be possible, that the house (you) would be paying off our debts. Thank you for taking care of us even after you were gone. Your dream of providing us with a better future came true and I can truly say that I have more than I ever hoped for in this life - a great eduation, a secure job, a loving family, and a future-partner-in-crime by my side.
I knew deep down that you were always there with me, but as I grew older, I felt your presence - that intuition, that sixth sense - less and less. You did all a father could do and more and maybe it was time you left the rest to us. When I met Albert, I knew you were no longer there… And I felt it. I’d like to think that this release was because you knew I had found someone who would replace your guidance and support for me, who would love me unconditionally and take care of me for the remainder of my life. I trust you, Baba, and I know you’re right. He’s a great guy and I know I have someone who will be the very best for me. Thank you for being there up until this point in my life. I hope in another lifetime, we will cross paths again.
Because of you I am stronger, because of you I work harder, because of you I don’t give up as easily, Baba, because of you… I am who I am today. Thank you for everything. I really wish you could be there for me on my wedding day, but I know that you have done more than you ever could. Your presence will not be missed and we are who we are today because you loved us. You made us who we are today so thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope we’ve made you proud.
I will love you always,
Your loving daughter,
Now that the big things are dealt with, I’m thinking about the small things. How important is it to:
A: Whiten your teeth
B: Laser eye surgery (yeah, I’m considering this as a small thing!?)
C: Facial treatment: Chemical peels, Microdermabrasion, etc.
D: Hair extensions
E: Tanning services to bronze uppp
F: Nail appointments and other beauty appointments (like my already booked mink eye-lashes!)
G: Get fit!?
I’m still going through this list and deciding what to book and what not to do… So much thought goes into this darn day! Does it matter in the end!?
Time for bed, beauty sleep awaits!
Just some reflecting…
I’ve been having a couple of conversations with a few people lately about having your own identity while in a relationship.
Some people who’ve lived their entire life doing their own thing feel smothered when they start dating/getting serious in a relationship… So they want to back off, let go, return back to the life they’ve always loved and known or create some space with their partner… and this got me thinking…
Albert and I do everything together! I admit there were times in the beginning I would feel my own identity was drifting away… and for awhile I wasn’t quite fond of that, but I’ve come to realize that in it’s place, a new identity was formed. One that builds a life that intertwines Albert’s identity with mine… and to be honest? I LOVE IT!! It’s so much fun to have someone to poke fun of, bounce ideas off of, argue with, agree with, support, etc etc. Our new identity has become so strong that when we do our own thing… I feel almost… like… incomplete (Gosh that was cheesy).
I do also agree that it’s important to have your own interests as well, so that there are always new things to share with each other, but I do have to say… Being with Albert all the time, doesn’t bother me one bit! (he better be thinking the same!!!)
He takes my weird and crazy, and I take his cynic and skepticism. We’ve come a long way, but we have accepted each other and that thought alone makes me so happy! Can’t wait for those 94 days to go by!